Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover
Before I share my thoughts on the book itself, I want to speak to two groups of people who may be reading this post. First if you are a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Ms. Westover's family is Mormon, she begins her book saying that her story is not about the church or about any faith in particular. Her story is simply what it is. I have friends who are part of the LDS church and I know that the Westover family is not representative of who Mormons are. Second, if you are a homeschooler, this story is not descriptive of your efforts to educate your children. A fellow librarian read the book before I was able to and I reminded her of this truth; there are only two kinds of homeschool stories you will hear, either the child will be a genius who is admitted into an Ivy League school at the age of 14 or the child is terribly neglected and cannot read. I homeschooled my children, I know that the lion's share of homeschoolers are of typical abilities and intelligence.
This book was a jaw-dropper. Tara's father believed that it was only a matter of time until the government came after them, the end of days were coming soon and he went into over the top prepper mode, and he used his "faith" to justify whatever he told his family to do - even when it didn't make any sense. Tara's mother was cowed by her husband and didn't stand in the gap for her children. One of Tara's brothers was flat out abusive. None of the children went to school neither were they formally homeschooled. This doesn't even scratch the surface of the dysfunction presented in the pages of this book. Amazingly, Tara and two of her older brothers (there are seven siblings total) went to university and eventually earned their doctorates.
This was a story that has stayed with me. When I wasn't reading the book I was thinking about it. Even days later I find my mind revisiting parts of the story. The powerful message that I have taken with me is the resilience of the human spirit. We face obstacles large and small throughout life, but we are able to overcome much more than we realize. We can shed labels and move forward and have success. I cannot recommend this book to you highly enough. My words will never do this story justice. Don't walk, run to your local library and get this book. You won't be sorry!
More Than Happy: The Wisdom of Amish Parenting by Serena B. Miller
I thought it would be a good idea to balance out the negative with the positive. Serena Miller lives in Ohio's Amish country and spent quite a bit of time researching how Amish parents train their children differently than the Englisch (non-Amish). There is so much richness here. I finished the book and wished that I had read this parenting book when my children were young. I think there are some things that I would have done differently.
Mrs. Miller learned about the Amish attitude of "uffgevva". "Loosely translated, it means that you are less important than others. Amish children are taught from an early age, by example as well as words, that their needs and wants are important, but not more important than those of the family, the church, and the community. It is the exact opposite of individualism, which is what most American children are taught." (page 105)
"Gelassenheit. My Amish friends tell me that it means that God has a plan. God is in control. We don't have to carry everything around on our shoulders. Someone bigger than us is taking care of us even when we don't understand." (page275)
Technology, or should I say the lack thereof, in the Amish community was also addressed. Mrs. Miller stressed that the Amish aren't anti-technology as much as they are mindful of technology's effects. They're slow to embrace new things, because they are weighing whether or not something is actually good for the individual, the family, and their community as a whole. We should learn from their example. We tend to embrace every new gadget without thinking through the possible negative impact, about what we stand to lose if we embrace the new technology.
I liked how at the end of each section she included ways we as non-Amish parents or grandparents can incorporate some of the Amish parenting strategies. This was an engaging and encouraging read. I think it would make a great gift for expectant parents. I think it would also be a wonderful tool for those who counsel young parents to have in their library.
Until next time...
Mrs. Miller learned about the Amish attitude of "uffgevva". "Loosely translated, it means that you are less important than others. Amish children are taught from an early age, by example as well as words, that their needs and wants are important, but not more important than those of the family, the church, and the community. It is the exact opposite of individualism, which is what most American children are taught." (page 105)
"Gelassenheit. My Amish friends tell me that it means that God has a plan. God is in control. We don't have to carry everything around on our shoulders. Someone bigger than us is taking care of us even when we don't understand." (page275)
Technology, or should I say the lack thereof, in the Amish community was also addressed. Mrs. Miller stressed that the Amish aren't anti-technology as much as they are mindful of technology's effects. They're slow to embrace new things, because they are weighing whether or not something is actually good for the individual, the family, and their community as a whole. We should learn from their example. We tend to embrace every new gadget without thinking through the possible negative impact, about what we stand to lose if we embrace the new technology.
I liked how at the end of each section she included ways we as non-Amish parents or grandparents can incorporate some of the Amish parenting strategies. This was an engaging and encouraging read. I think it would make a great gift for expectant parents. I think it would also be a wonderful tool for those who counsel young parents to have in their library.
Until next time...
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